It seems like when someone says something or does something that hurts or angers me, I let it bother me to the extreme. Like it consumes my thoughts and actions and affects my mood. To the point that it puts me into a "funk".
The last few days God has been using people to bring this to my attention and really speak to me on so many levels. Why do I allow people's actions to hurt me and consume me? Is it because I have a sensitive heart? Or is it because I'm allowing Satan to use these things to keep me from focusing on God? I am realizing now that it is the latter.
I have also really begun to realize that I have still been harboring anger towards my abusive ex even though the relationship has been gone for over 2 years. I had recently made the statement that I'll never let a man control me again. But today I completely realized in Sunday School that I am STILL letting a man control me, one that isn't even around anymore! But fostering my anger and letting it lie within me, I am still allowing him to control my emotions.
The Bible says “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27, NIV) I've totally given the devil a HUGE step to get to me!!! And I feel like God has got my shoulders shaking me going WAKE UP WAKE UP!
He used another opportunity to make me aware of it again after church today! I won't go into details, but I allowed it to bother me all afternoon. I literally didn't think of anything else but this issue and the people involved in it. But as I thought back to this morning's lesson, I realized I am also letting those people control me as well. I am allowing them control by letting what they're doing affect my emotions and mood. I can bet you they're not worrying about me, so why should I worry about them?
I haven't made any resolutions the last few years because resolutions are usually broken within the first month. But I've decided 2018 is going to be the year to heal my soul, teach myself to have a thicker skin and see myself in God's eyes. There will always be people that will hurt me, but I refuse to let other people's actions affect me anymore. I have decided to quit worrying what other people say about me and think about me. They don't pay my bills, so why should they be renting space in my head for free?Eviction notice has been served!
love, k
