So I have been considering this list for awhile because I am one of those people!!! I am SURROUNDED by couples.. my family, friends, etc. I don't have one single momma friend I see on a regular basis.
So here's what single Moms want you to know but don't want to necessarily tell you..
It's frustrating to hear the comment "well my husband is out of town so I'm a single Mom this week."
Well bless your little heart!!! Welcome to my everyday life dear. I don't have the end of the week to look forward to when Daddy will come through the door and the minions will be all over him for while so I can go take a bath..Sometimes we just need time to ourselves.. to clean house.. to watch a movie.. to eat a meal without SOMEONE NEEDING SOMETHING.
Its true. Just because I want a break doesn't necessarily mean I'm planning an elaborate date or night out. Sometimes, well most of hte time, I really just want ot be in the house by myself, turn my music up loud and clean. Or veg on the couch and scroll on Facebook. It's the little things.Child Support isn't guaranteed, like EVER.
Everyone assumes because you're a single Mom you get child support. Let me debunk that myth. Biggest lie ever!!! But I'm hearing this from other single moms in support groups I'm in. My story is a little different because my LO's father chose to terminate his rights so he didn't have to pay CS. Most people don't know that, they just assume I'm getting it. The stories I hear of deadbeat dads is outrageous. It's really quite sad for the children's sake. But I know there is a flip side to it..We rely on family and friends to help us on this journey of raising our children.. it really does take a village.
When the traditional family isn't available, we rely on close friends and grandparents for help with the kids. Let's face it, we cannot be with our kids 100% of the time. We have work, errands, hobbies, etc. I truly believe the kids benefit from time away from us too.. just not excessive!!! My LO enjoys her time with grandparents, but she's ready for our time too!Co-Parenting... Doesn't always happen
People automatically assume that if you're divorced or broken up from the other parent, that co-parenting happens and happens easily. Well it doesn't. Of course I only know this from my single mom groups, because co-parenting was taken off the table after my divorce. Co-parenting takes 2 hard working individuals who love their kids and want the best for them. I'm sure its hard putting aside your differences with each other to do this, but it can happen and sometimes it does.We all suffer from some permanent form of exhaustion.
Lets face it.. we're tired. But after the kiddo goes to sleep at 9 pm after fighting it for an hour and a half, its really tempting to stay up for awhile and catch up on our shows.A lot of things about us have changed from what we used to be BK (before kids)
I used to wear jewelry everyday, fix my hair cute, wear cuter clothes, etc. But fighting a 2 year old to get out the door every morning kinda ruined that for me. Now I wear the same CZ stud earrings everyday and jeans and tshirts to work. Do I enjoy looking more presentable? Well of course. And when I get time to myself to do that, I enjoy it. But my daughter isn't judging me, so neither should you.It isn't easy..
Parenting isn't easy!!! And it isn't for the faint of heart. It is difficult to not have a partner there to help. It's not like I can scream for a towel while my toddler is in the bathtub. My dog sure isn't smart enough to retrieve one for me.If any of you single mommas can think of others to add, let me know. These are just ones that I've come up with. This isn't an easy job we do and we should be commended, not expected, for stepping up and being both parents to our kids.
